Nourishment for your spiritual awakening

Published by Lola

I’ve spent a lot of time on this journey, working on various aspects of myself and some of those aspects I have wanted to remove as I viewed them as negative.  Moving away from a good/bad judgements, I have seen how non-acceptance of certain traits have had knock-on effects that have been less than favourable. 

My so-called bad sides include my b*tch-side, aggression, judgement, criticism and I can be a bit of a bully.  I have found that I have a lot of passion and humour when I am being a b*tch or being aggressive and that suppressing it leads me nowhere.  Granted, I have a duty to act responsibly but I cannot take on responsibilty of people’s reactions to me, that’s about them not me!  Suppression of these sides of me have resulted in me playing small for the benefit of others, which has led me to attract less than favourable life circumstances as a result of not embracing all of me and playing big. 

Now, I’m accepting and embracing ALL of me and I’m loving it.  My b*tch-side is hilarious, she’s got a killer sense of humour.  My aggressive side isn’t that aggressive after all, she just exteremely assertive but agreesive when necessary.  She gives me my guts to go for what I want and also stands up for herself so people do not generally try it on with her - she kinda rocks!  My judgemental side (in moderation) is actually linked to my intuition and is very good at quickly weighing up situations.

My critical side is linked to high standards and as long as I ensure I am also being compassionate, not too hard on myself and the same to others, it seems like a strength to me.   As for my bully side, I’m now thinking this is straight up anti-feminism.  It’s actually that I am strong-minded and know what I want.  I don’t suffer fools gladly, but give everyone a chance and I absolutely hate small talk.  I reckon if I was a man these would be admirable traits.

I was watching a program about divas and divos (the new male versions of divas, think Elton John and P Diddy), which resonated with me deeply since I am embracing my inner b*tch (who I suspect is a diva and I’m proud!).  Looking at it through my new all-embarcing eyes I saw a lot of good things.  Firstly, you have to be very successful at your trade to be a diva.  Secondly, all of them absolutely loved what they did and simply wanted to do their best becuase they loved it so much.  Thirdly, I saw a truckload of gratitude coming from all of them.  They were grateful for how far they had come and were blown away by what they had achieved so constantly gave thanks.

Who wants to be a diva/divo now ay?  You get to love what you do, excel at what you do and are immensly grateful to be in that position.  It sounds like what all of us personal growth enthusiasts are after to me.

OK, so they were a bit demanding but I started to see this as simply outsourcing.  Time is a precious commodity and one the best way to get more time is to delegate or automate your processes.  Also, their wealth generates income for hundreds if not thousands of people and feeds many children and families, so if Jennifer Lopez wants everything in white, why can’t she have it?

Lots of people say bad things about these divas and divos but there could be a lot of jealousy, envy and warped-admiration in these comments, either way it’s not their problem.  They obviously have a heck of a lot more people who buy their records, perfumes, tickets etc so hey you can’t please everyone.

Not only has suppressing my inner b*tch led me to playing small but also to not learning how to master that side of me, to use her as a response tool rather than an impulsive reactor. 

It puts a whole new spin on loving yourself and is truly empowering.  You can still work to improve yourself, but the best way to improve yourself is to fully accept who you are first otherwise you could implement changes and still not be happy. 

Which side of yourself do you not like?  Why do you not like it?  What is a benefit to this side of you?  How could you embrace it?

I’m sure there will be more on this, until next time.

In love, light and abundance x x x

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Sep 26, 2007
Filed under: Personal development, Growth, Gratitude, Personal Power