Nourishment for your spiritual awakening

Published by Lola

Here I am traipsing along deliberatly creating my life and this part of my journey has brought me to no man’s land.  No man’s land is a place between two places; where you have come from and where you are heading.  It’s a place of active transition where a deep shift is occurring to assimilate new concepts and beliefs within me. 

A common concept in change I know, but the difference here is that I am not trying to hold on to the old ways, I am lovingly releasing them.  The issue with not holding on to the old and patiently allowing the new to assimilate is that I am left hanging.  My biggest challenge right now is to allow the hanging and dare I say it, be comfortable with it.

My subconscious and conscious minds are currently undergoing a civil war.  It’s a no-brainer war and where the conscious mind will prevail, but my God is the subconscious fighting to the death or what?  The subconscious of old knows it’s days numbered and is a dirty little street fighter. He (yes he is a he!) might as well throw dirt in my eyes he’s so determined to win, but “I’ve got my eye on you sunshine” so the chances are slim.

I feel like I don’t know who I am and am going down a path that is 150% new and unknown to me.  I am also taking into consideration what I have learned so far in life and using that information to generally not do the same again, I know where that will take me and I don’t fancy that. 

This place is definitely an ascension symptom , one that I have stayed conscious with and kept the emotional theatrics to a minimum.  I’m literally saying to myself “Oh look there I go again changing.  Look how my subconscious is trying to make me revert back to old habits, I can probably only see that as I am staying present so I will continue to be present and trust that something big’s round the corner.”

Nowadays I embrace a life of ease which is the complete opposite to what my subconscious is familiar with (for now).  I love what I do it really lights me up inside, I’m excited about the future and enjoy every day of my life.  I’m blessed with great family and friends and genuinely feel like the luckiest person alive sometimes.  My challenges are great challenges, for instance a current challenge is to let myself be OK with the fact that I enjoy what I do and that it doesn’t feel like work, without guilt.  But I am confident I am dealing with that, which is why I’m in No man’s land - it’s part of the process!

There is a part of me that pities my dying old subconscious as he didn’t mean me any harm and was always looking out for ways to protect me.  As glad as I am to see him pass on, I’d like to thank him for all his help and support along the way.  You see I took on these beliefs as once upon a time they helped me, they just do not serve me well anymore.  More to come on this via a meme.

My intuition tells me that I will continue to feel this way until the current shift completes itself.  I will know when it completes as I will have an aha moment and something will click into place.  I will then be living more from a place of ease, abundance, joy and peace and less from a place of scarcity, lack, guilt and doubt.  Until then I will stay present, just watch all my thoughts and allow the changes to take place.

In love, light and abundance x x x

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Oct 08, 2007
Filed under: Beliefs, Growth