How to get unstuck
“The only thing keeping you stuck is what you do not yet know about yourself” Guy Finley.
It’s part of the natural order to get stuck in certain areas of our lives. Whether you are feeling stuck in your finances, with your health, relationships, career etc you will tend to be most stuck in the area that will grab your attention. Although it may feel frustrating, feeling stuck is a great motivator for change and growth that without experiencing the energy of stuckness, we may not feel compelled to make.
I’m a believer that we came here to experience the feeling of living physically in spiritual alignment with the Universe. On Earth our nature is both physical and spiritual and experiencing stuckness is a sign that we are out of balance, either living too spiritually or too physically. It is not a matter of spiritual = good and physical = bad as too much of either brings it’s own problems, but rather that feeling stuck is a call to rebalance.
To be stuck is to be stagnant and when we are here is feels so heavy and solid as if nothing could ever change it. The good news is that the feelings are false and YOU CAN get yourself unstuck and move forward again, usually a lot easier than before.
Here are 7 ways to help you get unstuck:
1. Admit that you need to change something
Sometimes you can get locked into believing you need to make a conscious effort to push against the feeling of stuckness. You may even feel you know what to do and just aren’t doing it. However, ask yourself these simple questions: How long have you been stuck in this area of your life? (I’m talking months/years not ‘ages’) What have you tried so far? How has it changed in that time, has it got better or worse? If you see that you have had this problem for years, maybe a majority of your life and that it’s getting slightly worse no matter what you’ve tried it’s time to admit you do not currently have the answers and take up a beginner’s mind to move forward without any assumptions getting in the way..
2. Celebrate stuckness
As I’ve already said feeling stuck is a great motivator for change that you may not otherwise make. Berating yourself for feeling or being stuck won’t get you anywhere so ease up on yourself and be thankful you are even aware you are stuck and are going to do something about it. By being stuck you are being called forth to some kind of greatness (although it may not feel like that at the time).
3. Get curious
Like the Guy Finley quote at the start of this article says “the only thing keeping you stuck is what you do not know about yourself.” So when you do not know what within you is keeping you stuck ask the question, what do I not know about myself that is keeping me stuck?
4. Become more present
Once you are asking the question, you WILL get an answer. However you may miss the answer if you are not present to your thoughts words, actions, emotions, beliefs etc. It’s probably some uncovered conditioning or conflicting belief system that is keeping you stuck so no amount of conscious effort will override the subconscious conflict. Becoming more present and curious are key steps to uncovering the belief that’s currently running the show. As soon as they are in the light they lose a most of their power over you.
5. Take the clues from your relationships
Relationships are great teachers for us IF we take the lessons. When you are exploring the area of your life where you are feeling stuck looking to the people closest to you can be very eye-opening, particularly the relationships with people that provoke a negative reaction from you. These are the ones that show you how you feel about those qualities inside of you, bringing your focus back within so you can make the journey back to wholeness.
6. Explore the benefits of staying stuck
Try not to look at stuck as a bad thing and forward movement as good. They are just opposites and it’s important for your growth you learn to dnace in the light as well as the shadows. What could be good about being stuck? Uncover your secondary gains from your undesired situation. What do you no longer get to do when you are unstuck? what are you kept safe from while stuck?
7. Build your desire
Sometimes we can get so focussed in on the way we are stuck that we stop giving as much energy and focus to the bigger picture and home in on the obstacle. Take the time to regularly build your vision for your desire, do it weekly as it can change. Keeping your eyes on the prize can be the momentum you need sometimes to pull you forward and bring all the conflicting stuff in your subconscious to the surface.
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Evelyn Lim:
“Celebrate stuckness” is definitely a new one for me!! However I can see how it can be helpful for me. I’ve always had the desire to move forward and disliked the idea of being stuck. But I may just have created resistances and caused myself to be even more stuck! Thanks for the great advice!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 3:31 am
Lola:
Hi Evelyn
I hear ya! It can be horrible to experience stuckness when you just want to move but soooo liberating to give yourself permission to just let your self be stuck. There are definitely gifts there and it’s only temporary, it WILL pass.
In peace and prosperity x x x
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
TJ:
Thank you for posting this, especially the part about giving yourself permission to be stuck. I go through phases of what feels like a kind of intense paralysis, and I’ll kind of hibernate for a few days, not leaving the house, barely leaving my room. Yes, I’ve been in counseling, and yes, I’ve tried antidepressant meds, and up until a few days ago I’ve been doing really well. This current hibernation has caught me by surprise. I decided to explore getting unstuck on the internet, and while I’ve found many articles that suggest ways of getting unstuck, when I’m in the midst of it, doing something about feels next to impossible. In my experience, it’s like a wave that passes, and I have to simply ride it out. Giving myself permission to be in the midst of it is amazing - it’s how I got unstuck last time, but this time I found myself blaming myself, and doing negative self-talk. So coming upon your wise words has been like a breath of fresh air, a really helpful reminder to accept this part of my experience. I have the sense that I’ll come out of it tomorrow, but I know that if I condemn myself for it, it will only prolong it.
Many thanks again.
Posted on April 16th, 2009 at 2:40 am
Lola:
Hi TJ
I’m so glad you got something useful from this post. We all get stuck from time to time and I believe that the 1st thing to do is accept it and not be so hard on ourselves.
There has been so much written about getting unstuck from the place of move out of it as fast as possible because it is a bad place. This just adds to the stuckness for me.
It may feel uncomfortable but it’s not a bad place and by hanging out in it with all of it’s discomfort we can get HUGE insights on our outdated beliefs and thought patterns that are rising to the surface to be cleared. These insights may not be available when you are in a more comfortable place.
Don’t worry about tomorrow, you will come out of it when you need to and be stronger for it too.
In peace and prosperity
Posted on April 16th, 2009 at 12:33 pm